Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Sunday Sigh: Ahhhhhhhh-CHOOOOOOOO !
I am a loud person in general. I laugh LOUD, I talk LOUD, I cough LOUD and when I sneeze - it’s a full bodied, no holding back, coming from the depths of my soul sneeze and it’s LOUD. At work I have people in cubicles 3 rows over sending me emails asking me if I’m alright and my Team Lead emailing me “Bless You”.
What is the point of all this drivel about myself? Patience people patience. If I had exhibited a bit more patience earlier this week - I wouldn’t be writing this blog post right now. Now that I‘ve properly set the stage - let‘s continue.
On my way to work one morning this week I, as I often do decided to take a short cut through a plaza parking lot very close to my home to avoid a particularly long red light when making a left hand turn. Yes I hate to wait, yes I should leave myself more time to get to work and yes if we all had 20/20 hindsight we would all do things differently. Me I wouldn’t have taken the shortcut Wed morning but what’s done is done.
The big difference on this morning is that once I turned into the parking lot I was overcome by an extended sneezing episode. I sneezed at least 3 possibly 4 times in a row and by the time it was all over and I opened my eyes, I had slammed into a cement light standard. In case you don’t know it - it’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Don’t believe me? Try it some time.
Everything happened within the blink of an eye; a split second and to say I was in shock is an understatement. The crash and the airbag going off sounded like a shotgun blast. I had a hard time processing what had happened (and truthfully still can‘t believe it). My first thought was to call my sister so she could email my BFF at work so she could advise the powers that be that I wouldn’t be into work. How’s that for dedication? While on the phone, I discovered my left hand was covered in blood and I was dripping blood everywhere. I had gashed the ring finger on my left hand somehow and it was bleeding profusely. Thank goodness that was the worst of my injuries. Small blessings people.
Since I was the sole injured party and the cement base of the light standard hadn’t sustained any damage, I decided to try and drive my car home - from which I was less than a minute away from. I knew there was too much damage for me to drive to work, but I was hoping I could at least get the car home and I did carefully and slowly.
So my day was pretty much taken up with calling my Insurance company, I eventually discovered that I had to get the Police involved since I hit a light standard (they had to confirm no damage), arranging a rental car, finding a body shop and trying to decide if the gash on my finger was bad enough that it might require stitches (I wanted to avoid the Emergency Room at all costs) . Due to the awkward placement of the cut right on my knuckle I decided stitches probably wouldn’t help and did my own home doctoring with some creative bandaging.
So here I am a few days later with an assortment of colourful bruises and a banged up knee, but after much reflection - the results of my sneezing fit could have been much, much worse. Sure my car needs extensive repairs, but I wasn’t seriously hurt - if you don’t count my ego and no one was killed.
Now I just have to live down the embarrassment of telling this story over and over and over. And I must mention my co-workers and all their good natured teasing including an awesome April First Day’s joke they played on me where they called pretending to be my Insurance company to advise me my accident would NOT be covered because it was caused by sneezing. We all got a good laugh over it - well them more so than me.
So ends my tale of Sneezy and the Crash Test Dummy. Next time you feel the urge to sneeze - watch out for cement light standards!